The Blog for all things about the author Jake C. Hansen or his string of reallly strange novels titled The Song of Jonas
Monday, May 30, 2016
Jake's blog: Totally Real Journal Entry for Jake Hansen, May 29...
Jake's blog: Totally Real Journal Entry for Jake Hansen, May 29...: Totally Real Journal Entry for Jake Hansen, May 29 th , 2016 Do I want to see Captain America Civil War? I don’t really know Jake let m...
Totally Real Journal Entry for Jake Hansen, May 29th, 2016
Totally Real Journal Entry for Jake Hansen, May 29th,
2016
Do I want to see Captain America
Civil War? I don’t really know Jake let me think about it. Okay Jake, think
about it for as long as you like. Thank you Jake. But Jake, I don't understand, why is Captain
America even fighting Iron Man, it doesn’t make any sense at all. And Jake my
man, why is Spiderman getting involved, shouldn’t he just mind his own
business? What’s next, Archie and Jughead join the Avengers? Is this what comic
book movies are coming to these days, just Mr. X vs. Dude Y because ‘oh, who
knows just blow some stuff up and say it was in a comic book and people will watch it no matter what.’-Movie Studio Executive.
Yes, that was an actual quote from a movie studio executive.
I myself am theorizing that the Mr.
X vs. Dude Y for whatever reason genre is just getting started and therefore I will wait
until it fully finds its voice until I start to watch them. For example, I am
highly anticipating the release of ‘Raggedy Anne vs. Raggedy Andy; The Sewing
War,’ and the instant classic ‘Bugs Bunny vs. Roger Rabbit vs. Peter Rabbit vs.
A Farming Combine; Do We Really Need a Reason?’ So until these soon to be
wonderful works of art grace a silver screen near me I might just sit on this
developing genre that will soon prove to be the most incredible of all time.
Also, I am planning on seeing
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles part two coming to theaters on June 3rd
which I admit is another shameless and low-brow entry into the franchise but I
am helpless to resist anything with ninja turtles in it so there, that’s my
true and only weakness. I could save time by just mailing $15 to Michael Bay
and then have the nearest stranger on the street kick me in the nuts and be done with it, but
then I wouldn’t be able to write a review for my lovely readers who read this
blog under blanket and pillow forts with flashlights at midnight. And so
that is why I will pry my eyelids open with electrical tape and plop down in front of the next cgi
fantasmagorical whatchamacallit and try to enjoy it the best that I can. And I
tell you, it will take all the strength infused into me from four billion years
of evolution to do it, but I will. Wish me luck.
Sayonara, Peace
Jake
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Post on random stream of consciousness musings from a musing muse coming to you at one million silvery watts of awesomness.
First, lets just say that I haven't posted for a while so lots of things are going to bubble up and find a home in this particular blog which will be called "The Birthday Blog," because yes, that's a good name for a blog right?
1. Netflix-Now I live under a rock most of the time, but it's a nice rock and I like it so because of that i have never sat down and looked around Netflix and binged watched anything yet. That is until nowwwwwww. I think the other reason is that I don't own a TV, but that is for good reasons too, #1 being that I get wayyyyyyy more writing done without one. And that's the only reason this young Lawrence of Arabia of the University District needs by golly!
I love watching documentaries because they are just so cool and learny and so far on the Net'sflix I have found tons and great ones, for example one about Ninja warriors where they saith that Ninjas didn't even eat sweets or onions or even garlic because if they did then samurai guards could smell them coming in the night! That's just so amazingly cool and also a dose of reality that I will never be a great ninja warrior because for that reason among many others of course. I don't think being known as the "burpy and flatulent ninja"
would strike fear into anyone let alone crazy strong samurai, if there were any around anymore that is.
So, during one sessoin of perusing the Net'sflix I found a new mucho favorito showo called The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and it's awesome and just so funny that I can't stop rewatching it over again even though I burned through the first two and only two seasons in like three days and now feel that I've lost a dear friend that I won't get to see again, that is until a third season comes on which I can't wait for. I did this doing something I invented called "binge watching" a TV show. And from here on out I do copyright that saying for all time.
The gist of this show on the Net'sflix is that Kimmy Schmidt was kidnapped at 15 years old and kept underground in an apocalypse cult by an evil reverend in a bunker and after 15 years she finally gets freed.
She and her three other bunker mates are instantly famous and known as "the Indiana Mole Women," and Kimmy decides to live in New York City which of course is the exact opposite of a secluded strange bunker with only four other people in it. Let's just say that Kimmy is a huge fish out of water and the resulting culture shock is the hilarious underlying pulse to the show. I definitely recommend this show to anyone who likes shows and to laugh at said shows.
2. Next I watched Bloodsport with Jean Claude Van Damme who has to be one of the best martial arts actors not named Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan. I would even put him above Mr. Chan. Ahh, Bloodsport, a movie I hadn't seen since I was 13 and just blasted me with unintentional comedy and in a good way like all cheesy 80's and early 90's action movies should do. In fact in watching it again I learned at the end via helpful white text before the end credits that it was based upon the real life accomplishments of a martial arts fighter named Frank Dux who was Kumite champion and even founded his own fighting style called Dux-Ryu which I guess is a type of ninjitsu? Maybe? Or a form of self defense hairstyling?
Anyway, it is here that I end mine ode to Netflix, who even though has killed Blockbuster forever and was inaccessible to me until I started working for a certain client, I do bow to with great respect. But I also warn you Netflix not to get cheeky and take off or prevent lots of great and older movies from being available for dumb, petty disagreements with movie studios whose executives already go home and dive into their Scrooge McDuck money silos at the end of the day anyway.
Oh yeah and today is my birthday! Yeah, now Sionara and hasta la vista babies!
Jake
1. Netflix-Now I live under a rock most of the time, but it's a nice rock and I like it so because of that i have never sat down and looked around Netflix and binged watched anything yet. That is until nowwwwwww. I think the other reason is that I don't own a TV, but that is for good reasons too, #1 being that I get wayyyyyyy more writing done without one. And that's the only reason this young Lawrence of Arabia of the University District needs by golly!
I love watching documentaries because they are just so cool and learny and so far on the Net'sflix I have found tons and great ones, for example one about Ninja warriors where they saith that Ninjas didn't even eat sweets or onions or even garlic because if they did then samurai guards could smell them coming in the night! That's just so amazingly cool and also a dose of reality that I will never be a great ninja warrior because for that reason among many others of course. I don't think being known as the "burpy and flatulent ninja"
would strike fear into anyone let alone crazy strong samurai, if there were any around anymore that is.
So, during one sessoin of perusing the Net'sflix I found a new mucho favorito showo called The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and it's awesome and just so funny that I can't stop rewatching it over again even though I burned through the first two and only two seasons in like three days and now feel that I've lost a dear friend that I won't get to see again, that is until a third season comes on which I can't wait for. I did this doing something I invented called "binge watching" a TV show. And from here on out I do copyright that saying for all time.
The gist of this show on the Net'sflix is that Kimmy Schmidt was kidnapped at 15 years old and kept underground in an apocalypse cult by an evil reverend in a bunker and after 15 years she finally gets freed.
She and her three other bunker mates are instantly famous and known as "the Indiana Mole Women," and Kimmy decides to live in New York City which of course is the exact opposite of a secluded strange bunker with only four other people in it. Let's just say that Kimmy is a huge fish out of water and the resulting culture shock is the hilarious underlying pulse to the show. I definitely recommend this show to anyone who likes shows and to laugh at said shows.
2. Next I watched Bloodsport with Jean Claude Van Damme who has to be one of the best martial arts actors not named Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan. I would even put him above Mr. Chan. Ahh, Bloodsport, a movie I hadn't seen since I was 13 and just blasted me with unintentional comedy and in a good way like all cheesy 80's and early 90's action movies should do. In fact in watching it again I learned at the end via helpful white text before the end credits that it was based upon the real life accomplishments of a martial arts fighter named Frank Dux who was Kumite champion and even founded his own fighting style called Dux-Ryu which I guess is a type of ninjitsu? Maybe? Or a form of self defense hairstyling?
Anyway, it is here that I end mine ode to Netflix, who even though has killed Blockbuster forever and was inaccessible to me until I started working for a certain client, I do bow to with great respect. But I also warn you Netflix not to get cheeky and take off or prevent lots of great and older movies from being available for dumb, petty disagreements with movie studios whose executives already go home and dive into their Scrooge McDuck money silos at the end of the day anyway.
Oh yeah and today is my birthday! Yeah, now Sionara and hasta la vista babies!
Jake
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