Preview of release of my first Sci-Fi Young Adult Novel

Hey, person(s) who read this blog, how are you? I'm really good, mainly because I got the photo for what will be my first of many novels to come. It's self published and will be available around mid October or early November. You will be able to buy a copy, or man copies, on Amazon and Apple i-books in ebook form, or a copy in print on demand form from Amazon, if you want a real, actual book to hold in your hot little hands.

I will be posting more updates when I get more info on when it will be available and on what sites. But for right now here is a picture of the cover.

So, needless to say, I'm totally psyched about it. Jason at Jera Publishing did a great job and I can't wait until it's in real book form and I can take it everywhere with me and show it to everyone! Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll write to you again shortly, I hope.

Sayonara

Peace

Jake

The long anticipated New Ghostbusters 2016 Blog. Also titled "don't listen to the Ghostbros anymore!"

Ahhh, Ghostbusters... If you are a movie fan and you know me chances are that sooner or later we'll be quoting Ghostbusters back and forth and with good reason. It's a movie that reminds us why we like movies. It shows you what can happen when a studio doesn't micromanage something to death or try to cater to a specific fan base. Its what happens when true creative geniuses, comedic geniuses, and a great director come together and make something special.

And yet it got remade this year and to tell you the truth the new movie was good. Paul Fiege's work on Spy and Bridesmaids was excellent and the female actors are some of the funniest that I've seen in recent years. Just watch the first half hour of Spy and you'll see what I mean.

The first act of the new Ghostbusters is just as funny if not more so. Paul Fiege and his actresses excel in this type of funny and silly character-building shenanigans and this is by far the best part of the movie. So good that it warrants a 7.5/10 grade, 8/10 if I'm being very generous.

The second act suffers from trying to put in as many Ghostbuster gadgets and themes as possible to pay homage to the original, which is okay. I mean, its probably hard to make a remake of a movie that is on so many fans's Mt. Rushmore of movies. Mt. Rushmore, at least to me, includes Ghostbusters, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Caddyshack. Many will chose to argue this, but for me they are already carved, adorned, and set in stone.

But that doesn't mean that I'm going to fly off the handle if a movie on Mt. Rushmore gets remade like the current Ghostbro phemonnon which is particularly disturbing and downright lame. It is reminiscent of the Gamer Gate scenario which I won't go into here but is equally lame and dumb. I ask, if you don't like a movie why not just not watch it? Do you have to post a hundred angry reviews to IMDB and then post angry reviews to other movies with the same actor or director in them? The saying goes, out of the contents of the heart the mouth speaketh. It doesn't take Freud to tell me there's a lot of misguided and repressed anger and hatred, that comes out in the online community where there's no risk of real consequence or someone can make multiple fake accounts altogether. 

There was a hilarious scenario recently where two famous comedians, Dave Chapelle and someone else were talking and they mentioned that there had been an argument or angry exchange between them on Twitter. And the second comedian says, "You know Dave, I didn't write those things. I don't even have a Twitter account."
And Dave replies, "Man, I don't have an account either." Meaning, 2 people had created fake accounts with their names on them and had a fake argument.

So to any Ghostbro reading this, I challenge you to live a deeper life than just worshiping your toys, movies, and video games as all there is, and to not fly off the handle like a mental patient when it even sniffs like somehow, someday, maybe, if the planets all align they will come under threat from someone or something new and a meteor might collide with the Earth. 

There's a saying in Yoga that one should "Live simply and think Highly." Meaning, not putting all your attention on "things" and acquiring them, because at death you have to leave them all behind anyway. Because honestly, in five hundred years we might not even have movies or video games anymore or they could be thought of as toys of a near Neanderthal like people that are almost all forgotten by then. Or our civilization will be completely wiped out and the only survivors will be living in dense jungles that completely cover every city, road, and building and "Gunga, lagunga," will be a near meaningless phrase thought to come from an ancient myth instead of part of one of my favorite speeches from any movie ever.

Thanks for reading again. Maybe an Olympics blog will come next.

Sayonara, Peace
Jake

Jake's blog: Totally Real Journal Entry for Jake Hansen, May 29...

Jake's blog: Totally Real Journal Entry for Jake Hansen, May 29...: Totally Real Journal Entry for Jake Hansen, May 29 th , 2016 Do I want to see Captain America Civil War? I don’t really know Jake let m...

Totally Real Journal Entry for Jake Hansen, May 29th, 2016

Totally Real Journal Entry for Jake Hansen, May 29^th, 2016

Do I want to see Captain America Civil War? I don’t really know Jake let me think about it. Okay Jake, think about it for as long as you like. Thank you Jake. But Jake, I don't understand, why is Captain America even fighting Iron Man, it doesn’t make any sense at all. And Jake my man, why is Spiderman getting involved, shouldn’t he just mind his own business? What’s next, Archie and Jughead join the Avengers? Is this what comic book movies are coming to these days, just Mr. X vs. Dude Y because ‘oh, who knows just blow some stuff up and say it was in a comic book and people will watch it no matter what.’-Movie Studio Executive. Yes, that was an actual quote from a movie studio executive.

I myself am theorizing that the Mr. X vs. Dude Y for whatever reason genre is just getting started and therefore I will wait until it fully finds its voice until I start to watch them. For example, I am highly anticipating the release of ‘Raggedy Anne vs. Raggedy Andy; The Sewing War,’ and the instant classic ‘Bugs Bunny vs. Roger Rabbit vs. Peter Rabbit vs. A Farming Combine; Do We Really Need a Reason?’ So until these soon to be wonderful works of art grace a silver screen near me I might just sit on this developing genre that will soon prove to be the most incredible of all time.

Also, I am planning on seeing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles part two coming to theaters on June 3^rd which I admit is another shameless and low-brow entry into the franchise but I am helpless to resist anything with ninja turtles in it so there, that’s my true and only weakness. I could save time by just mailing $15 to Michael Bay and then have the nearest stranger on the street kick me in the nuts and be done with it, but then I wouldn’t be able to write a review for my lovely readers who read this blog under blanket and pillow forts with flashlights at midnight. And so that is why I will pry my eyelids open with electrical tape and plop down in front of the next cgi fantasmagorical whatchamacallit and try to enjoy it the best that I can. And I tell you, it will take all the strength infused into me from four billion years of evolution to do it, but I will. Wish me luck.

Sayonara, Peace

Jake

Post on random stream of consciousness musings from a musing muse coming to you at one million silvery watts of awesomness.

First, lets just say that I haven't posted for a while so lots of things are going to bubble up and find a home in this particular blog which will be called "The Birthday Blog," because yes, that's a good name for a blog right?

1. Netflix-Now I live under a rock most of the time, but it's a nice rock and I like it so because of that i have never sat down and looked around Netflix and binged watched anything yet. That is until nowwwwwww. I think the other reason is that I don't own a TV, but that is for good reasons too, #1 being that I get wayyyyyyy more writing done without one. And that's the only reason this young Lawrence of Arabia of the University District needs by golly!

I love watching documentaries because they are just so cool and learny and so far on the Net'sflix I have found tons and great ones, for example one about Ninja warriors where they saith that Ninjas didn't even eat sweets or onions or even garlic because if they did then samurai guards could smell them coming in the night! That's just so amazingly cool and also a dose of reality that I will never be a great ninja warrior because for that reason among many others of course. I don't think being known as the "burpy and flatulent ninja"
would strike fear into anyone let alone crazy strong samurai, if there were any around anymore that is.

So, during one sessoin of perusing the Net'sflix I found a new mucho favorito showo called The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and it's awesome and just so funny that I can't stop rewatching it over again even though I burned through the first two and only two seasons in like three days and now feel that I've lost a dear friend that I won't get to see again, that is until a third season comes on which I can't wait for. I did this doing something I invented called "binge watching" a TV show. And from here on out I do copyright that saying for all time.

The gist of this show on the Net'sflix is that Kimmy Schmidt was kidnapped at 15 years old and kept underground in an apocalypse cult by an evil reverend in a bunker and after 15 years she finally gets freed. 

She and her three other bunker mates are instantly famous and known as "the Indiana Mole Women," and Kimmy decides to live in New York City which of course is the exact opposite of a secluded strange bunker with only four other people in it. Let's just say that Kimmy is a huge fish out of water and the resulting culture shock is the hilarious underlying pulse to the show. I definitely recommend this show to anyone who likes shows and to laugh at said shows.

2. Next I watched Bloodsport with Jean Claude Van Damme who has to be one of the best martial arts actors not named Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan. I would even put him above Mr. Chan. Ahh, Bloodsport, a movie I hadn't seen since I was 13 and just blasted me with unintentional comedy and in a good way like all cheesy 80's and early 90's action movies should do. In fact in watching it again I learned at the end via helpful white text before the end credits that it was based upon the real life accomplishments of a martial arts fighter named Frank Dux who was Kumite champion and even founded his own fighting style called Dux-Ryu which I guess is a type of ninjitsu? Maybe? Or a form of self defense hairstyling?

Anyway, it is here that I end mine ode to Netflix, who even though has killed Blockbuster forever and was inaccessible to me until I started working for a certain client, I do bow to with great respect. But I also warn you Netflix not to get cheeky and take off or prevent lots of great and older movies from being available for dumb, petty disagreements with movie studios whose executives already go home and dive into their Scrooge McDuck money silos at the end of the day anyway. 

Oh yeah and today is my birthday! Yeah, now Sionara and hasta la vista babies!
Jake